Yale University

Class News

Chris Getman ’64 and other classmates remember Gail Sheehy

September 2, 2020

At our 40th Reunion in 2004, Gail Sheehy was an invited speaker. Sheehy was an author, journalist, and lecturer who had written a book titled Understanding Men's Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men's Lives.

Sheehy died recently, on August 24, 2020, prompting some classmates to recall her participation in our reunion. Although it is said “De mortuis nihil nisi bonum” (or “Of the dead, say nothing but good”), our classmates had apparent difficulty in abiding by that aphorism.

Sheehy's death and obituary prompted the following email interchange.


Chris Getman

She tried to charge us $475 for having her hair done before she showed up an hour and a half late for our reunion. She stole a lot of her research for Understanding Men’s Passages from Yale, which was the only reason we put pressure on her to show up. She tried to back out of her contract with us because she was writing a book about Hillary Clinton. We prevailed with a veiled blackmail threat. Thank Linda Lorimer for the insight. Still, Sheehy was not worth the effort. I introduced her as describing a problem which affected us as going from a “semi-annual erection to an annual semi-erection.” Rick Levin did not smile.

Holcombe, Terry

Too add a bit, the person whose research she co-opted was that of a then junior faculty member in Psychology, Peter Salovey.

John Evans

I remember your introduction well. Dottie and I were laughing about it tonight. I remember her talk and Chris' introduction, but I never knew the background story. Probably many of our classmates who were at the 40th would be interested.

Joe Wishcamper

Wow! I remember her unmemorable presentation but had no idea of the backstory. Her book was forgettable as well.

Jay Huffard

I certainly remember her late arrival, which helped dash earlier high expectations about her wisdom.

Robert Whitby

I could be wrong with my personal recollection of what she had to say to us. I have a memory that she wanted us to “lean in” to whatever woke cause she was promoting at the time, and that we should all “have a conversation” about whatever it was she was promoting. To this day my reflex is to retch whenever I hear either phrase “lean in” or “let’s have a conversation” coming from a pious woke advocate for anything.

Martin Padley

She certainly had an astonishing career per her Wikipedia entry. I remember reading Passages as a consequence of her talk but was not impressed, although it was on the NY Times best-seller list for three years. Her second husband was Clay Felker, and she wrote for New York Magazine and Esquire as well as other publications. She wrote an exposé on prostitution and was held prisoner by the IRA but escaped, she interviewed a yogi in India and just about everybody else including Margaret Thatcher, Mikhail Gorbachev, and Jesse Jackson.

Toddie Getman

I am laughing. OUT LOUD!!!!